By Wiley Henry
MEMPHIS, TN – Dealing with the death of a loved one could be described as an emotional roller coaster that will eventually subside. Then you will smile again, promises Dr Marcia Demarjé Adair Smith.
In fact, Smith writes about the stages of grief in “You Will Smile Again, I Promise,” a 38-page book that was published in
February by Predestined Productions and illustrated by Rhonda Shaw.
Written under Demarjé Adair, a variation of its name, the book was written specifically for children aged 5 to 12 who are struggling with death and cannot express themselves without some form of intervention.
Inspiration came from the grief of her own son after losing his great-grandmother, Dorothy Jean Marlow, whom Adair helped as a granddaughter and caregiver in her home in Houston, Texas.
Dorothy Jean Marlow died on November 25, 2017. Jaspiere Smith Jr., then four, started showing signs of grief last year, said Adair, a 35-year-old Memphian native who works as a licensed therapist. and school counselor.
“I started noticing a lot of symptoms, a lot of signs of grief,” Adair said, adding that she was busy grieving and responding to everyone’s grief and didn’t realize her son was in. mourning.
Besides Jaspiere, now seven, others in Adair’s household were also in mourning in their own way. Her husband Jaspiere Smith Sr. played a supporting role; and there was no telling sign, according to Adair, that their five-year-old son Jayceon was overcome with grief then and now.
While the book is intended for young children and written in its simplest form, parents also have a role to play, Adair said.
“It’s just a way to help kids understand what’s going on in their bodies, as well as help parents have the conversation,” she said. “Sometimes they don’t know how [to communicate with their grieving child]. “
According to the 1969 book “On Death and Dying”, the author, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, refers to the five stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Adair adds the following blurb to promote his book: “As parents, we cannot protect our children from life experiences like the death of a loved one. While it hurts us to see them hurt, our job is to help guide and validate their experiences through each stage of grieving.
Regarding death, Adair said, “We really focus on everything else.” She adds: “Mourning is a community action. You are never alone. You don’t have to deal with this on your own.
“You Will Smile Again, I Promise” can be purchased through the author’s website at www.demarjeadair.com, online at Amazon and Apple Books, and at Walmart, Target, and Barnes and Noble.